Waitresses
33 Of The Funniest British Tweets In 2017
These tweets were Brits at their finest in 2017.
1)
Presumably good at helping people stay alive. pic.twitter.com/xvj0jF3lJh
— Andrew Dennison [Out of Office] (@CharlieBeatnik) July 14, 2017
2)
A modern day Romeo & Juliet pic.twitter.com/kgU0Kmv3Yq
— Sharky (@afcSharky) October 23, 2017
3)
This is giving me life rn. pic.twitter.com/HVTp9k6zQe
— Holly Nielsen (@nielsen_holly) June 9, 2017
4)
clare balding. just watched someone be gunned down on a pier. pic.twitter.com/38PL178O0u
— ACAPULCO VIP (@popeformosus) August 4, 2017
5)
£198m for Neymar
— Sam Roberts (@samrobertsrugby) August 2, 2017
To put that into context, that's a week's stay for a family of five at Center Parcs with 3 kids who want to do everything
6)
Mike Oldfield's difficult second album pic.twitter.com/PLOY4GxeFl
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) June 4, 2017
7)
Prince Harry's kids will be Americans. What if one grows up to be president and is in line for the throne at the same time? Brits are playing long-ball here, but it's a smart move. They want America back and this is how they'll do it.
— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) November 27, 2017
8)
The Telegraph have officially run out of things to attack millennials for pic.twitter.com/e4UYVeOsg9
— Alex Finnis (@AlexFinnis) July 31, 2017
9)
If you iron Gordon Ramsay you end up with Keir Starmer. pic.twitter.com/wm3IjR5l5y
— Hippolyta Loudbasket (@Loudbasket) August 27, 2017
10)
So very, very tempted to go in and ask... pic.twitter.com/SxacML9as1
— Andrea Snowmann (@AndreaMann) September 5, 2017
11)
The vengabus is coming
— Johnny Chiodini (@johnneh) November 27, 2017
And everybody's jumping
The vengabus' purpose
A rail replacement service
To take you to some stations
We thank you for your patience
Might want to set out early
It will delay your journey
12)
A can of expanding foam went off on the shed and I'm now 6/4 on winning this year's Turner Prize. pic.twitter.com/lQNQeOW3fL
— JB (@JBwol) October 26, 2017
13)
When you follow someone through multiple doors pic.twitter.com/9HWxOt9Vf2
— Jake Reynolds (@JakeReynoldss) July 6, 2017
14)
jst realised ‘mamma mia’ sounds like a northerner telling their mam theyre home n ive never been so amused
— Em ☃️ (@EmilieCrutchley) November 17, 2017
15)
what's up with this dramatic movie poster font choice. how many did he kill on his first day pic.twitter.com/yrni6PsdMg
— Lex Croucher (@lexcanroar) September 7, 2017
16)
"Never have I ever ran through a field of wheat" pic.twitter.com/TEUfVmcLtQ
— Jennifer Agnew (@jen_agnew) June 7, 2017
17)
You from south london? pic.twitter.com/zQfiOMpWZu
— JoeOliver▲ (@joe99oliver) March 21, 2017
18)
She can move in any direction you know... pic.twitter.com/jN3dUJwZz7
— James (@Jimbobaroo) July 6, 2017
19)
autoglass: autoglass repair
— B ? (@sticktoyourgxns) March 20, 2017
me: autoglass replace pic.twitter.com/g04aMYseMc
20)
Bloody hell, genuinely just thought Noddy Holder was Germaine Greer. pic.twitter.com/mVtpXgnFyL
— elfie. ? (@elfbatross) November 5, 2017
21)
? All of the other reindeers ? Used to laugh and call him names ?so he killed them pic.twitter.com/GTtXrEHBSD
— Gecko (@geckoofficial) October 28, 2017
22)
Picked up my mum steaming and she said "can we get chips" to which I replied "no we have some in the freezer",been waiting years to say that
— Pete Bradley (@PEEBZ_B) July 7, 2017
23)
The shameful legacy of Bullseye continues to blight our streets. pic.twitter.com/l4cYb6kYtD
— Phlegm Clandango. (@Cain_Unable) August 14, 2017
24)
elf (2003) pic.twitter.com/PdfAzIQX8g
— joe (@idealising) October 13, 2017
25)
AND ON EASTER SUNDAY JESUS DID RISE DECREEING THAT THE BIG TESCO MUST CLOSE IN HIS HONOUR BUT THE EXPRESS STORE CAN STAY OPEN FOR ESSENTIALS
— Dan (@ThatConnArtist) April 16, 2017
26)
I'm begging of you please don't take my man pic.twitter.com/rFkRMFhdkl
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) July 3, 2017
27)
I'm enjoying the irony of this looking like a gay wedding ceremony that neither set of parents entirely approve of.#DUPCoalition pic.twitter.com/Bvzj5cypOC
— John Smith (@verypopularname) June 26, 2017
28)
when your nan brings the biscuit barrel out.. pic.twitter.com/YpSA3AV7qh
— georgia (@georgiajacks0n) May 22, 2017
29)
Lucky old June. pic.twitter.com/2WAm9cNeeD
— Jo Haseltine (@Jo_Haseltine) July 17, 2017
30)
also does anyone else find it weird that the middle of the House of Lords is basically laid out like a shoe shop pic.twitter.com/iNCdQPleDV
— Jon Stone (@joncstone) February 20, 2017
31)
he’s like this every time we turn the vaccuum cleaner on pic.twitter.com/3idhyzrvl6
— julien (@eggsandbread) March 14, 2017
32)
When your duck is actually really posh pic.twitter.com/qDyNnG4p6p
— hoskas (@hoskas) September 18, 2017
33)
"Did ya say ya want scraps wi' them fish 'n' chips, love?" pic.twitter.com/e8u0Kz7viQ
— Ben (@mrbenjiweb) September 26, 2017